Sometimes, having a few drinks and taking a walk alone at night turns out to be the best thing you can do with your time. Sometimes, not all the time. I'm not advocating getting drunk and being intoxicated in public. However, if you ease up on your logical and critical mind your perspective can change dramatically.
Today, my parents and I walked around town memorizing Skagway's history. There were 100 pages single spaced that we were given and told we needed to memorize by the time we got to town. I got stuck in my mind today. Not only was there a large amount of history I needed to learn, but there was an entire town that I had to learn the layout to and be able to match the history to the layout. I've only been in town for two days, and I'm not always the fasted learner.
For a reprieve we went to a trivia night. At first, I was embarrassed. I love my parents, but I'm 24 years old and feel like I'm still a child. I know intellectually I will always be their child. And, I don't wish to be a child for any other couple. But that still leaves me at 24 years old, living with my parents, and not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life. Everyone around us were in large groups of people my age laughing and having fun. And I felt unsure how to connect with them. It wasn't because my parents were there. Even if I was completely alone, I would still feel like a fish out of water.
We had a lot of fun at the trivia night. After a few beers, a group next to us ordered my parents and me shots. They were handing out an olive branch. It was very kind. They were all helicopter pilots and glacier tour guides.
It was Redneck night, so we got to see people from all walks of life dress up in ridiculous outfits. There was even a man with a cowboy hat who recited Kenny Chesney's "She Thinks My Trackers Sexy," in a Shakespearean accent.
Afterwards, my parents drove home and I walked the 13 blocks back to the RV park. That was the first time I looked around without the fear that I may never become a fully independent individual. Around me were snow covered mountains. That's where I've wanted to be for a few years. But not only that, but I was surrounded by people who said hello to me on the streets and didn't know me. I can't take a walk without someone being friendly and saying hello. I don't get that back in Missouri or Texas for that matter.
But here, something magical has occurred. Every single human is worth your time and you are worth their time.
So, to sum it up. We are lucky enough to be in a town where everyone is friendly, if I want to go snowboarding I can, and even if I feel completely alone I'm not.
Then, I started venturing into my head again. I am my parents' child. I am 24 years old. I live with my parents in an RV with very little privacy. We live together. We eat together. And, typically, my parents cook dinner for me. I am not only their child, but I get to relive my childhood. The right way.
I've held a lot of resentment because my family lived apart for seven years. I thought that I would always be broken because of that. But now, in Alaska, I can be the kid again. But I can be the kid with my own responsibilities too. I pay bills like an adult. I can drink like an adult.
But, ultimately, the gift that I was refusing to see is that I get my parents, together, like it should have been. And I get to enjoy it with the intelligence of an adult and with the freedom that comes with an adult.
How can I complain when I get the best of both worlds? Especially when that's what I was wishing for all along.
I'm not sure I would have seen unless I took a walk tonight, with a little Fireball Whiskey in my system.
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